The Blog of kilyra

If you've read up on my blog at all, you'll see I'm supporting my significant other while he's at school.  Although we were moved down here by his company to manage a store that they shut down before the year was out - we were denied EI.  If you go to school and try to better yourself, you don't get any of the money you've spent a life paying into.  However, we can call them after he's done school if he wants to sit on his ass.

So everything falls on my shoulders.  Usually I do pretty good, but it's been getting frustrating lately.  I'm behind at work and just have a steady stream of stress here.  And now our finances suddenly got bad.  I just got paid on Friday.  I'm able to make rent, but when my student loans come out, I'm in the hole already.

I thought we were doing so good, and I've always had a bit of a cushion - even if it is just the over draft.  Not this time.  I've never been in this situation before.

When I realized on Sunday how bad it was, I admit, I broke down.  Anthony just got annoyed at me.  I'm sure he's feeling guilty and it prevents him from being comforting, but still.  Immediately he called up his parents (who actually owe us money) and explained what was up.  So I appreciate that he jumped in to help, but he spoke to me like I was a kid and half rolling his eyes with a "it's not that bad" comment.

Then we got company in last night and we all went to do a grocery run.  I need lunches to get through the next two weeks etc.  He pushed me into getting a bunch of stuff so he can make a big breakfast for them tomorrow. I want to be a good hostess but....THEN, while we're in the store, the company is pushing for a restaurant for supper.  Anthony tells me "It's really cheap, the two of them can eat for about $50!"  CHEAP??  That's CHEAP?!?!  So I just numbly nod.  "Fine, I'll pay for it" he says.  Out of the line of credit that is what we need to supplement our rent.  If we run out of that money, we can't make rent.  Lovely.

We get to the cash register and up pops our $56 bill.  I was hoping it was closer to $30.  I go through the motions, swiping my card, hoping hard that it is approved.  In the meantime tears are welling up in my eyes and my smile gets so shaky that I just have to go tight lipped instead to avoid sobbing.

Finally he gets it.  He goes and finds the guys and asks if we can just hit up Subway on the way home and they can go to the restaurant tomorrow on their own.  They had no problems at all.  Maybe he told them what I'm going through. At any rate everyone was really nice about it.

I'm terrified, frustrated, and depressed.  I hate being at work because I'm just drowning, I hate being anywhere else because I'm drowning there too.  I hate when we get company when we're in this situation because I don't want them to think it's always like this.  I hate that I have to try and keep my chin up, and I really hate that this all gets to me in the first place.

PS: after reading this over, it just dawned on me - my mom is heading into the neurologist on Thursday and I just found out last night.  It bothers me so much that I've already started to block it from my thoughts.  I want to be there for her but we're 16 hours apart.  I'm so numb.  Sorry guys, this is just the whiniest post ever.

Last night I ended up at a party with 4 girls, 2 straight guys, and 3 or 4 gay guys.

Now, as I get into this, please understand that back home I had several gay friends - guys and girls.  If looking at Will and Grace, some of the boys were Will and some were Jack, so please know that I say this with the utmost acceptance of sexual orientation.  And it's because of my friends that I was bothered by the behaviour I saw.

But these guys...It begins with the fact there were mirrors of sorts on every wall and the gay boys spent about 90% of their time in front of them playing with their hair and clothes.  They talked like children and were even using baby talk (*shudder*).  One of them fancies himself quit the...I don't know, activist(?) with this big message to say through the songs he mixes together.  His big thing is he's got a message and we'd all just better listen.  But the whole night he was hogging the mirror the most and was very much "Meeee!" the whole time.

I'm sorry, but just because you're gay does not work as an automatic qualifier for having some great message for the world.  Especially in Vancouver!  You're gay?  Whoopie shit, so is every third person wandering downtown tonight!  It's not fair to use that as your statement.  If you've got something to say and you're going to force everyone to listen, then you should have something worth saying!

Then I realized the girls were being just as bad with the mirrors and I started to wonder if I just found myself a subculture I wasn't aware of.  They all looked like they were trying to cross pop, punk, and the 80s. Their music taste was edgy pop...Britney Spears and such.  At first I thought they were an offshoot of the goth kids, but that's not right.  I'm an offshoot of goth.  Then I thought maybe emo?  But it didn't seem right either.  I just don't know.

I don't know, live and let live for sure.  They all seemed like nice enough people.  I guess I just had the chance to sit back and watch them all and the self-absorption was suffocating.  You almost felt guilty for taking up as much of their oxygen as you did.  But what really got me was the whole "Listen up, I've got a message" idea, that was promptly followed with a "It's all about MMEEEE" behaviour.  There was only a 3 yr difference but damn it felt like a lifetime.  It's funny though because I was at a party over the weekend (it's rare I get out this much!!), and they were so anxious to make you feel welcome and comfortable.  These kids didn't really talk to us, other than the one who invited us and the super drunk straight kid who talked to anyone who would help him stand up :)  Again, an interesting difference.

I wonder if it's a sign of the times, that more and more it's all about me.  I hope not.  

Ok, this all stems from the fact that I just watched Chicago 10 the other day and I'm still pumped.  It's about one of the peace marches that happened in '69 in protest to the Vietnam war, and about the following court room circus surrounding the 8 "conspirators" they arrested. Look it up.  Watch it. Love it.  Then come talk to me.

Anyhow, I was really riled up and desperately wanting to go make a difference in my world.  I wanted to shout to someone as I ran out the door "No, hon I have to go, this is bigger than me and I need to be there!".  Only problem....there's not much to revolt against.  At least not in Canada.

It was strange to watch this now because virtually the same situation is cropping up in the States over the "War on Terror", and seeing the reaction of the general public that's completely different now makes me shake my head.  Are we a lazier society?  Are we more self-centered? Or is the establishment answering better to the people now and thanks to those before us we are not in need of making such grand gestures?

I looked into it, and turns out there was another march during the Republican National Conference...LAST MONTH.  And they had between 10,000 (police estimate) and 30,000(protesters estimate) people there.  Talk about swept under the rug.  370ish people were arrested.  Is it just me, or was this seriously downplayed by the media?  And what the media did show portrayed the crowd as a fairly violent group. Any altercation that happened was always started by a protester.

Which is in direct contrast to any of the independent medias that you look at.  Thanks to the internet, there were dozens of videos that showed the exact opposite story the corporate media was spouting.  They were trying to have a peaceful protest much in the same spirit of the late 60s.

Does this not concern anyone?  Maybe we're not being represented as well as we think, because we're being conditioned by the media that everything is hunky dory.  Come to think of it, we don't see pictures of the war going on anymore.  Not the negative ones anyhow.  Why?  It's insensitive.

Ok, I'll grant you that it's insensitive to the families that lost anyone over there.  However, I can guarantee you that's not the reason (or at least the only one).  The uproar in the late 60s all started because it was the first time the war was visually brought home to the people through pictures and videos thanks to the media.  And now suddenly we shouldn't see those things because it's not sensitive?  Like sending people needlessly to die for a "cause" IS sensitive? It's like we're being gently pushed into taking a step backwards and having the blindfold put back on our eyes.  And it's all happening so gradually who would take notice?

I remember growing up with the notion that reporters were hated by anyone other than the general public because they were on a mission to show the people the truth.  They were sneaky, underhanded, and not to be trusted by the corporations and government.  Now, they are used as little more than public relations messengers.  Sure once and a while they break a story but...
What is wrong with this picture? 

*Siigh* but then in the end, after I get all riled up, I have to remind myself I'm a Canadian.  Our government is so wishy washy that it really leaves nothing to revolt against anyhow.  If we took a firm stand on anything I think half the citizens would just die of shock.  And it starts from the people up.  I mean we all scream about needing change, so what happens?  We kind of sort of push the Liberals out by voting the Conservatives in a little bit.  Twice. 

I guess I do what Canadians do when they're steaming mad....I kind of sort of wrote a letter.  *siiigh*

 

OK, so my Anthony and I flew back home last week to be there for his best friend's wedding.  He was the best man, so we knew we had quite a bit of work ahead of us once we got there.

The bride was including me with a lot of her stuff so I didn't feel left out I guess, which was very sweet of her.  But by the end I think she was so grateful for me because I was the only one of her team pitching in.  I was the one doing all the touches at the hall the night before with her, I was the one getting things ready on the morning on, I was the one pulling her aside to calm her down.

And what did her bridesmaids do?  SAT ON THEIR BUTTS!!  I wish I was joking, or even exaggerating, but I'm not.  Quite literally they sat on their asses on the staircase at the hall while everyone else was running around to get things finished.  I was so chocked up when I heard one of them complain on the phone "Yeah, we were at the hall until 10:30 last night getting it ready!".  No.  No you weren't.  YOU were at the hall taking up space while EVERYONE ELSE was getting it ready.

I mean really, lets break down the word bridesmaid shall we?  There's the word bride, and the word maid.  Bride's maid.  Maid TO THE BRIDE.  It's not called Bridesprincesses, it's the Bride's maids.  And Maid of Honour is STILL A MAID!  GAH

Don't get me wrong, it was fun, and I didn't mind working my arse off because it's just who I am anyhow - I feel better with stuff to do than sitting around.  But I'm so exhausted.  Not only did I do all the work that the bridesmaids should have been doing, but I ended up doing all the running around with the Best Man (since he IS my boyfriend and all I guess haha). 

It just made all the hard work really hard to handle when I kept seeing the royal highnesses doing far less work than the best man's best girl and the bride herself.

I hope this was an anomaly and not a new trend!!

Anthony and I went back to Edmonton this last weekend for a wedding.  It was a crazy whirlwind but it was great to get out and visit friends I hadn't seen in months.

I took one day off work only to return to find it a bit of a madhouse here.  ONE DAY.  My assistant was sick and took most of the day off which meant everything that was supposed to be done on Mondays was not...which meant my workload doubled for today.

I'm just not getting paid enough to care.

I really had this crazy urge last night to stay at the airport and be on standby for anywhere but here.  I moved to Vancouver only a year and a bit ago because I loved BC so much (still do), and I truly feel ready to run away from that too. 

Obviously it's not the places I'm running away from, but I'm not sure what exactly it is then.

After being back for half a day I already feel as down as I was before I left.  I think I just need some alone time.  Not sure how to get it though so I guess I just have to suck it up.

It would be to rent a cabin for a month or more and just isolate myself from the world - Anthony included.  Maybe then the answers of what I'm so desperate to run away from would become clear.  As it is, there's too many distractions to be introspective for long.

Maybe I should see that as a blessing though.  Maybe the realizations I've got to make are ones I won't know how to deal with?

Alright, that's enough pathetic, cryptic crap talk for now!

I feel like I'm sinking further and further into a deep, dark hole and I don't even know why.  Usually when my dark cloud envelops me I can pick out what stress is causing it and it helps me weather the storm.  This time, I've got nothing.

I know my life is stressful hell right now.  Anthony is in school so I'm the only source of money.  We were living off his severance but that is running out next month, and we applied for Employment Insurance but over the phone I was told that chances are we'll be denied.  So after working this hard to get an assistant, I think I have to get rid of her so I can do a bunch of overtime to keep us afloat.  (which works out well because another department wants her).

I don't know.  We had a heart to heart on Sunday and he told me that I was just getting miserable and it's hard to talk to me and all I talk about is work. I calmly explained that a big part of why I'm so miserable is because he doesn't help with things that has to do with finances (like for getting a student line of credit, I ended up doing it all except talk to the actual finance adviser because I couldn't do that).  I don't want him to get a job - he HAS to focus on school or else this was all in vain, but I do need his help when it comes to addressing finances. There were a few other things that he brought up which were good to talk out.  But, I don't know, heart to hearts are supposed to help, but since then I feel worse.  He's been so much more helpful with finances since that talk and really trying to help me out.

So with the air cleared and him raring to fix even little things, why am I not only sinking, but doing it faster?

Behold the kindness of strangers - something I thought long dead.

It ended up being me that escorted Calvin back to the airport because Anthony had class.  We got to the airport early enough to have dinner together and we had great conversation.  There was fun reminiscing and we spent the meal laughing hard and poking fun at each other.  It was so great to feel that connection with Cal again (still in a brother/sister way).

When I bid him goodbye, I was ok.  We hugged and promised to call and he went past security waving.  As soon as I walked away, it felt like I was smacked with a ton of bricks.

I'm not sure why Cal leaving hurt me so much.  Maybe it was because it was the first time since we broke up that we really felt connected again.  Maybe it was just simply it had been a couple years since we last saw each other and I knew it will be a long time again.  I'm not sure.

I get on the bus to go home and sure enough the waterworks start.  I'm not completely bawling, but there are tears that keep falling out of my eyes off and on.  Of course I've got no tissue, so I'm using my sleeve (sleeves are multi purpose anyhow).

I hear the bus driver say something so I take off my headphones to listen and from across the aisle, this guy reaches over and hands me a handful of tissue.  He didn't say a word to me.  He didn't pester me into telling him what's wrong.  He didn't use my sorrow as some kind of twisted in.  He just handed me tissue and a smile.  I mumble a grateful thanks and he turns back to his conversation leaving me to pull myself together in peace.

It may have felt like a small, meaningless gesture to him, but to me it was the world.

Thank you.

So I've got a bit of a sordid sounding history.  My ex that I lived with for three years (and even got a cat with!), is my current boyfriend's best friend.  (And to boot, I was dating my current boyfriend first!  Ok, short version of the story is Anthony and I were dating.  Then we broke up after a year, and AFTER we broke up, mutual friends introduced me to Calvin and we got serious.  Then he and I broke up, and Anthony and I ran into each other and sparks flew in a good way.  So it sounds like an awkward love triangle, but it just happened that they were friends, but really had no bearing on things.  Anyhow...)

Calvin was up last week.  I love him still, like a brother, and was just sick for the longest time over him because he was so miserable. He wasn't meeting women and although I don't think he was stuck on me, he wasn't able to meet someone and move on.  I mean I felt serious guilt because he was so depressed and lonely while I was crazy happy with Anthony. 

But a few months ago he met a nice girl through work and I was relieved/happy for him.  Then he came for a visit and dropped the bomb that he got her knocked up and they were moving in together.  They're not getting married because "well we couldn't really help that she got pregnant, but we don't know if we want to spend the rest of our lives together."  Oiy

It was strange though.  I'm trying not to be resentful, but I do want a kid, and he never did.  Now he's going to be a dad and I'm still childless.  How fair is that?

At any rate, it was a good visit, and it was nice to be with someone you truly care about in a platonic way.  I've never been in that situation before.  And it was really great that we could all hang out how we did, it felt like we were little kids before all the crazy adult hangups existed.

So I know I've posted a couple times about my unhappiness at work (including some confessions).  I have been getting very frustrated at a few of the operational systems set up because they just weren't working for me.

Finally I broke down and told my boss I was pretty much ready to leave because we're slow right now and I have to do overtime at least once a week just to stay caught up.  It was a bit annoying because she seemed surprised by the whole bit, but I guess it makes sense because unless you're in my office day in day out you don't really see how it's going.

But at any rate, it really shook her up, and in turn shook things up.  I now have a few more responsibilities, but in turn I've got an assistant.  It's kind of strange...

So this these last two weeks has been spent training her and I think she's catching on alright.  I think we'll end up being a tight team so long as it doesn't turn out she's doing things wrong and just dazzling me in the meantime.

I am a bit worried because my office was small to begin with and now there's two people crammed in here.  Not to mention the fact I'm an only child who works best being left alone and now I don't have that.  So far that's been ok though, and even when I'm super bitchy I somehow end up in a better mood when she's there because she does the sympathetic ear well.  Not that I whine all the time or anything, but just a quick "Oh boy this customer is frustrating" "that sucks!" exchange is all it takes.  Hopefully that trend keeps going.

I have noticed that I'm turning into one of those bumbling bosses when she's around.  Like the kind you see on TV that are pretty much useless and the secretary runs the whole operation.  Yeah, that's how I feel sometimes.

But this is a good change.

I haven't been posting as often as I should, there's been a lot happening lately.  Lots of work drama and big changes.

But all I want to share today is about last night.  I'm a belly dancer, but unfortunately it has been a long time since I've gotten to perform due to the instructor I last had (didn't do performances for her students) and the move from Edmonton to Vancouver.

I finally got into a dance school here and last night was our first performance!  It was so much fun to be back on stage, albeit for a fairly small audience.  I got to watch other performances too both from back stage and the audience.  There was just this familiar feeling being back in the rush of a performance.

I was antsy being in the greenroom so eventually migrated to back stage just to watch.  And I never felt stage fright for going on.  I mean I had been doing the routine since January, so that's a long time to get to know it inside and out. 

I remember getting on stage and even though the lights were bright I could see the audience.  It was easily a couple hundred people even though the theatre wasn't full.  I was going along ok.  Sure, I was shaking a little but it was such an adrenaline rush, how can you not a bit right?

Well during one part of the routine you have to hold a pose on one leg with the other bent and just touching the ground a bit.  As soon as I did that, my bit of shaking turned into full blown vibrating.  I mean, it looked like I was shimmying I was vibrating so bad.  I relaxed my leg and was alright again, but inwardly I was just chuckling at myself.  I didn't even at that time feel scared to be on stage, but I must have been because my body was moving like I had drank 10 redbulls!

But, I never messed up, and I had a big smile on my face.

It just felt great to be alive yesterday. 

It was a lot of fun this weekend because a friend and I were having a little get together.  I ended up  inviting more and more people from my various little circled (work and belly dance class were the main ones) and ended up with a group of about 10 who showed up at my house for dinner and drinks etc.  Then we went to the bar for a bit, and finished up at my house.

It was nothing crazy or rowdy, just a lot of fun.  I ended up really clicking with these people and have made friends from the whole experience.  I mean we were kind of pals before from class and work, but we just...I don't know, I guess bonded.  Now we're making plans for all sorts of things - BBQ tomorrow night, movie nights next weekend etc.

I guess I just wanted to write this out because it makes me so happy.  I've only been here for a year, and most of that time was spent being a hermit.  We didn't know the area or the people or anything so mostly it was a whole lot of nuthin.  Slowly I've been meeting people and making lots of acquaintances.  Last weekend, I really feel like I'm bridging the gap from acquaintances to actual friends.

What a nice feeling.  We used to be the social couple back home with tons of friends and someone dropping by every couple of days.  It kind of feels like things are getting back to normal now in that way.  I almost forgot how much I like being the hostess.

Ahh summertime, you make everything better

I just turned 26 a couple weeks ago and have been getting more and more caught up with a lot of bull shit happening at work lately.

What am I doing with my life?  How can I be getting so caught up in something I never even wanted to be doing for a living?

I mean, what I always wanted to do when I was younger was be a newspaper reporter and live life in the crazy rat race with writing as my primary mode of making money.  It's something I'm great at and really wanted to throw myself into.  Dad always played devil's advocate with me though and brought up how unstable of a livestyle freelance work was, not to mention how the growth of the internet is making that a more difficult field to break into.  So I gave up.

And I know that what I should be doing with my life is helping others.  I've got a strange knack, much like my mother, to read people and help them through difficult times.  I belong in some type of a counselor role.

So I know what I want to be doing, and what I should be doing.  And what am I actually doing?  I'm a glorified pencil pusher. 

Heck, I'm not even that because I don't use pencils.  I'm a virtual pencil pusher.

Hmm.  I'm not liking birthdays so much. 

So Anthony is back in school and we're living off one income at the moment.  We have been making it work so far, but all these little costs are adding up - monthly tuition payments, old credit cards, bus passes etc.  I've got rent, bills, and groceries covered but these necessary extras are too much.

As a result, I kept pushing the student line of credit idea on him.  It's more like a credit card then a loan - you only pay back what you use.  This way, we can essentially consolidate all of his cards and we only have to pay $40 to cover interest.  Plus the tuition balance can be taken care of too. Great idea right?  I know!

He's resisted me every step of the way and I'm so frustrated with him.  At first he refused to even TALK about how we were going to keep afloat - like it was too stressful for him to even admit we have a problem.  And how does that help us buddy?  He did admit this was the best solution eventually.

But, then it was one excuse after another.  Finally I  did all the work including lining up our cosigner, finding out all the info we needed...frig I even dialed the phone last night because he refused to contact the bank while I was at work!  Then he was annoyed because I wanted to deal with it as soon as I walked through the door.  Seriously folks, all that was missing was him kicking and screaming as I was dragging him.

So I've completely stripped him of his masculinity in almost any way you can think of.  I mean not only he his not the breadwinner right now, but he doesn't get to have any say or responsibility in the finances. It makes me feel pretty shitty, but I can't keep on living in my overdraft keeping food on the table just so he doesn't feel bad.

I know he's the ostrich type.  When things get too stressful, it just makes him sick and he can't deal with it - so into the sand his head goes.  But that just doesn't get us anywhere.  It's tiresome though being the enforcer of the new solutions.  I don't know how to do it and still preserve his manhood y'know?  I kept trying to be happy and upbeat yesterday, but I felt like one of those stereotypical women beating their man over the head with a rolling pin. 

ugh.

So, just to change tracks from the whiney type posts I think I'm cursed!  And I wonder what it's leading up to.

Why do I think I'm cursed?  Well, for started I was born on June 6, so right there with the 66, I'm already two thirds evil so it doesn't take much.

On Friday I was really frustrated with my paperwork and was pounding away on my calculator and when I pressed the =, the number 666 came up.  I wasn't adding anything even close to the six hundred mark, so that was strange.  But then...it wouldn't go away!  I pressed a bunch of other buttons but the 666 was frozen onto the screen.  Then more numbers popped up...more 6's!  I even got up and showed a coworker because I thought maybe I was nuts.

Nothing else that I noticed really happened until Monday night when I was eating supper on my patio.  It looked like a strange dust cloud came out of nowhere and passed across my lawn in front of me.  There was a bit of a breeze, but I have no idea where a bunch of dust would have come from...

The yesterday morning I was talking to work with my headphones on.  Right from the bus stop I heard someone walking behind me, which is normal because a couple people who work in the same building as me (different company but same building) also take that bus.  I make sure I kept a very brisk pace so I didn't slow anyone up.  But when I got near the parking lot, I had to stop to grab something from my bag so I moved off to the side and looked back to make sure I didn't just block that person...  No one was there...

Doo do do do doo do do do (Use your imagination, that was the theme song from The Twilight Zone kicking in)

Ok, so in the last entry I mentioned I was trapped in my job but it was another story.  So here's the other story...

I just moved to Vancouver from Edmonton last year, and it was because of my significant other's (Anthony) work.  His company moved him down here to manage one of their stores.  It went horribly because they didn't give him any of the training he needed, but we really wanted to live in BC so we made the best of it.

Well, recently, they turned around and closed his store. The timing was perfect because he was becoming more and more miserable and the Friday before he got this news he was contemplating not going back on the Monday.  The company, however, didn't want to lose him as an employee and tried desperately to convince him to move back to Edmonton (turns out they knew the store would be closed when they relocated him, and just did it so he could hold it together until they were ready to close it.  They fully expected him to return to Edmonton once it was done).  Of course, we took the severance pay and stayed here.  I mean really we could stay in beautiful BC while he starts a new career, or we could go back to -40 Edmonton where the crime and cost is rising exponentially, AND still have him working for a company that would treat an employee so carelessly.

I suggested he go back to school because everything he wanted to do wasn't something you can just hop into without proper training.  I mean he could get a job no problem, but why go from one bad situation to another when you've got the perfect opportunity to go to school and get lots of financial aid to do it. So back to school he went.

Because he was laid off, we'll be entitled to EI payments while he's in school.  Which means until that kicks in, he can't work.  Hence why I'm trapped at work while we live off the severance and one income.

I know it's for the ultimate good and we'll both be so much happier when he starts a real career for himself.  In the mean time though...

I guess the trick is to keep looking towards the horizon and ignore the mud you're traipsing through to get there.

If you choose to follow my writing, I promise I will make it entertaining.  Whether I'm diving into something current or into the past, I'd like to give you a well rounded view of myself.

Today, however, I'm just angry and I don't know what to do about it.  Normally I'm a pretty happy person but lately with work it's just one crap thing after another and I'm suffocating.

Today has been the icing on the cake.  My manager, Anne and this...ugh, what do you call him even?  Sven is his name and he's kind of the head accounting department guy.  But he sticks his nose in everywhere and for some reason likes to pick on Anne.  So the icing on the cake is their latest pissing match.  And guess who's actually getting pissed on?

One half of my job is strictly paperwork.  I've got to invoice costs our crews use, including the time spent on a job.  We all do timesheets to reflect that.  Well, Sven is the one who provides someone to do our timesheets and he keeps playing games.  The latest game is the timesheet person no longer comes out to our warehouse to do her work, but straight to the main one.  Meaning I guess it's MY job to set up delivery between the two warehouses in order to get her work to her and from her to myself so I can do my job (keep in mind I don't drive so it's not like I can just do it).

Did he bother to tell us that we need to set this up?  No.  We just thought she wasn't here for the last couple of days.  Today she finally lets me know that she was told not to stop in at our office first anymore.

UGH.  So now my boss is doing the "Fine, then Sven will have to set up getting her paperwork to us", and he's going the "They'll have to sort out delivery for themselves.".  Nothing is happening, no one is talking about it, and my job is suffering.

Seriously, I may as well go home if this is the case because I can't put my paperwork together.  Once they finally, grudgingly do something about the deliveries, I'll have to do serious over time to get caught up.

Why does no one care?  Why do they not realize it's the little guy who suffers?  I'm so sick of it.  It's frustrating because I really like Anne, and I sympathize with her plight.  But how long can I be expected to stay just because I like my boss when everything else is horrendous? The only thing holding me here is the fact my common-law and I are living off one income.

But that's another story.