The Blog of kilyra

So I've got a bit of a sordid sounding history.  My ex that I lived with for three years (and even got a cat with!), is my current boyfriend's best friend.  (And to boot, I was dating my current boyfriend first!  Ok, short version of the story is Anthony and I were dating.  Then we broke up after a year, and AFTER we broke up, mutual friends introduced me to Calvin and we got serious.  Then he and I broke up, and Anthony and I ran into each other and sparks flew in a good way.  So it sounds like an awkward love triangle, but it just happened that they were friends, but really had no bearing on things.  Anyhow...)

Calvin was up last week.  I love him still, like a brother, and was just sick for the longest time over him because he was so miserable. He wasn't meeting women and although I don't think he was stuck on me, he wasn't able to meet someone and move on.  I mean I felt serious guilt because he was so depressed and lonely while I was crazy happy with Anthony. 

But a few months ago he met a nice girl through work and I was relieved/happy for him.  Then he came for a visit and dropped the bomb that he got her knocked up and they were moving in together.  They're not getting married because "well we couldn't really help that she got pregnant, but we don't know if we want to spend the rest of our lives together."  Oiy

It was strange though.  I'm trying not to be resentful, but I do want a kid, and he never did.  Now he's going to be a dad and I'm still childless.  How fair is that?

At any rate, it was a good visit, and it was nice to be with someone you truly care about in a platonic way.  I've never been in that situation before.  And it was really great that we could all hang out how we did, it felt like we were little kids before all the crazy adult hangups existed.