The Blog of kilyra

I feel like I'm sinking further and further into a deep, dark hole and I don't even know why.  Usually when my dark cloud envelops me I can pick out what stress is causing it and it helps me weather the storm.  This time, I've got nothing.

I know my life is stressful hell right now.  Anthony is in school so I'm the only source of money.  We were living off his severance but that is running out next month, and we applied for Employment Insurance but over the phone I was told that chances are we'll be denied.  So after working this hard to get an assistant, I think I have to get rid of her so I can do a bunch of overtime to keep us afloat.  (which works out well because another department wants her).

I don't know.  We had a heart to heart on Sunday and he told me that I was just getting miserable and it's hard to talk to me and all I talk about is work. I calmly explained that a big part of why I'm so miserable is because he doesn't help with things that has to do with finances (like for getting a student line of credit, I ended up doing it all except talk to the actual finance adviser because I couldn't do that).  I don't want him to get a job - he HAS to focus on school or else this was all in vain, but I do need his help when it comes to addressing finances. There were a few other things that he brought up which were good to talk out.  But, I don't know, heart to hearts are supposed to help, but since then I feel worse.  He's been so much more helpful with finances since that talk and really trying to help me out.

So with the air cleared and him raring to fix even little things, why am I not only sinking, but doing it faster?